Check It Out This

While checking out websites trying to find inspiration for a Nursery (when we have one), I have come across some of the best stuff. I can't believe the talent that some people have and the creativity! It's so inspiring. And all the fun blogs. It's a whole new baby world! Pictured above is one of the things I love. I'm so down with this wallpaper that doubles as picture frames. I love the idea of adding children's art and pictures with a bunch of color and the contrast against the black and white. This would be so much fun! I found it here at Spearmint Baby. They also have this post featuring the cutest wallpaper (I love the one with the clocks too). I also have fallen in love with this art by Blanca Gomez.

I have found that I am really feeling the Vintage European look which can totally be combined with a modern look for some eclectic style. Another item I liked (found at Shawn and Frank)...

For those of you expecting a child, those of you who already have a child, or those of you who just appreciate art (most of the stuff can be used in the house just in general), check out some of these websites (I have a link to all of them I'm referring to over on the left side column under Babystuff, but if you know of other great sites, feel free to let me know about them. You have to remember I'm new at this :) They are so fun!

Musical Me

Actually, I'm not musical but I just have some music on my mind! First of all, I have to say that my favorite part of Micheal Jackson's Memorial (yes, I watched it, I figured it was part of history) was John Mayer's contribution. I loved the song he played first of all, and I thought it was appropriate he didn't sing.



Next, one of the songs I'm really loving lately is Electric Feel by MGMT which has such a good, kinda 80's beat/feel to it.

That is all I feel I need to say about music right now.

As Promised...The Baby "Journey"...

Okay, as promised, this is the point where I give information that might be in the TMI classification for some people and in the Interesting and Helpful classification for others so... Here it is. Read at your own risk (especially men, but I must say, once you are married men get an ear full of things they never knew and didn't ever want to know concerning a woman's body and it's many facets, but they listen and remember and try to understand and cuddle us when we are being confusing, that's how it should be anyway :).

My symptoms for PCOS started in high school. Unlike some people with PCOS, I had basically all the classic symptoms but was never diagnosed in high school with anything because I honestly think it's something that gynecologists don't pay attention to unless you're ready to get pregnant because that's when the complications start to effect things a lot bigger than your self esteem. With PCOS, periods are either irregular (which mine always were) or non-existent. The main problem with PCOS when trying to get pregnant is women with it only ovulate about 4 times a year as opposed to the normal 12+ times a year that other women ovulate. It's hard to conceive when you're not ovulating (obviously). When I got married, for some reason I thought it might be difficult for me to get pregnant and I wasn't really worried about getting pregnant right away so I didn't go on birth control (and I also enrolled for an insurance plan that would cover infertility...just in case.) After 6 months of being married, I decided to go on birth control when I realized it was a lot easier than taking a thousand pregnancy tests a week (that are so expensive, even when you are buying them in bulk from Costco or online) and having that constant panicked question in my mind, "am I pregnant?" I was on birth control for 6 months until Grant and I had been married for a year and worked out our major kinks and adjustments with our new married life together and figured if we did get pregnant, we'd be ready. I took a pregnancy test on April 29, 2008 on a whim about a month after I went off birth control and found out (to my utter astonishment) that I was pregnant. (This detail was actually the thing that prompted my OB to do official tests for PCOS because getting pregnant immediately off birth control is one symptom of it, especially since I didn't get pregnant those first 6 months). I was pregnant for about 9 weeks (never heard a heartbeat or had an ultrasound and I wasn't sick AT ALL) when I started bleeding and went to the emergency room late one Sunday nite and was told by the ER doctor that the ultrasound they took was really confusing and they didn't see a baby, just a yolk sac. At that time, I really didn't know what a yolk sac was and how it related to pregnancy or anything so I was totally confused. I saw my doctor the next day who told me I was having a miscarriage. That was hard to hear. Later, Dr. Hatch (who I will introduce further in the next paragraph) guessed that my pregnancy wasn't viable past 5 weeks, but I just didn't pass it right away (which is technically called a missed miscarriage). I passed the pregnancy naturally and although it was difficult, painful and it raised some red flags, it wasn't enough to deter me from trying to get pregnant again. After all, miscarriage is actually really common and I had no real reason to think there was anything really wrong. From my reading and from what people said, getting pregnant is really easy in the first 3 months after a miscarriage so I just looked forward to that. I ended up getting pregnant again, but this time I miscarried at 5 weeks. Not AS big of a deal as the first time but it was still difficult thinking there could be something really wrong with me, and it made me get serious about figuring out what my body was trying to tell me. My OB diagnosed me with PCOS but that's really all he told me and he wanted to put me on Clomid to help me ovulate. I didn't feel like my body was ready for another pregnancy and I wanted to get my body where I wanted it to be before I tried to get pregnant again. With the PCOS diagnosis, I started looking online and found a website that I found to be really informative and had a program for reversing PCOS. Interestingly enough I found out that PCOS stems from an underlying condition called Insulin Resistance meaning your body doesn't use carbs for energy like most people, carbs just go straight to fat and if you're eating too many carbs, you gain weight super easy and it accumulates in the mid-section causing hormonal imbalances. (This made perfect sense to me because I have been on a lot of diets and the only one that worked for me was a low carb diet.) Everything clicked and so I went on this program. Knowing that my hormones might be all out of whack and not knowing how bad it was, I sought out a reproductive endocrinologist. I found Dr. Hatch through online searches and I really liked what people were saying about her so I called and made an appointment. Luckily our insurance is so good that it covers infertility and I didn't need a referral to see her. She was AMAZING. I can't stress how much her personal interest and sensitivity impressed and comforted me, and not just her but her staff! I was really spoiled by them. Dr. Hatch did a miscarriage workup on me that included a ton of blood tests and some special ultrasounds where she saw something a little suspicious in my uterus and so she scheduled me for surgery to see what it was and take care of everything. The surgery went perfectly.

I was on my program (low carb diet, tons of herbal supplements, 75 min of exercise a day) for about 2 months and my periods totally regulated. I had three normal periods in a row (which I have never had before) and so after a total of 5 months on the program I felt like my body was where it needed to be to get pregnant so I went back in to Dr. Hatch and they started monitoring me to know exactly when I was going to ovulate. I ovulated that month and after that, they did a pregnancy test about 2 weeks later and low and behold, it was positive! Dr. Hatch gave me a hug and congratulated me. For the first 3 months I was on a high risk pregnancy regimen and Dr. Hatch and her staff continued to monitor me until my 13th week. This time I have seen the heart beat, seen the baby move and know the pregnancy is viable. It has been such a comfort to me to have that extra attention and monitoring. I know the Insulite program I was on helped me regulate my cycle so that my hormones were balanced and I was ovulating regularly, but getting pregnant was only half the battle. I really think the main reason for my miscarriages was what Dr. Hatch removed during surgery. This journey has really helped me realize how powerful a woman's intuition can be and even when my body wasn't cooperating, I was still able to listen to it and find the medical support I needed to fix it. Also, Grant was so supportive during the whole thing. When I told him I wanted to try that program to reverse PCOS, he supported me, even though it wasn't cheap. When I told him I wanted to see an infertility specialist, he supported me. When I told him I didn't want to go on Clomid, he supported me. Even though he was excited and wanted a baby, he didn't make me feel bad for waiting a little longer to find out what might be going on with my body. He never rushed me into anything or made me feel bad for anything that happened. He has been such a great companion during this and even though it's my body that needed the medical attention, he was involved and interested in the whole process coming to doctors appointments with me when he could and calling me and asking me how everything went when he couldn't be there. Now that we're pregnant (I say "we" because I inform Grant so much about what is going on with my body and what I'm feeling that I'm sure he feels it as much as I do :), we are excited but I am still nervous. Being pregnant isn't ever a sure thing for a healthy baby. There are still a lot of things that could happen. Having a history of things not going right, I can't help but be concerned and a little worried but I figure whatever happens, we'll get through it and learn a lot in the process, especially being parents. I hope we'll get through that :)

Well, there it is. I hope that for those of you out there that might be going through something similar or are suspicious of certain things right now, that this information might be helpful. I know that I wished that my doctors would've informed me better what was going on before I had traumatic experiences, but I'm so glad for what I have learned and the success I've been able to have with the research and greater knowledge about what my body needs that I have gained through these experiences. I am also so grateful for the doctors and programs that are out there that really help with something so delicate as having a child.

The Babycake

(I had to make another post identical to the first post that wasn't showing the pictures for some reason, and it wouldn't let me save my comments... if you've already commented...comment again! Love you!)

Well, we went in for our 18 week ultrasound to make sure everything is checking out okay and we found out what we're having. We were watching TV last nite and saw a show where the expecting couple announced to their family what they were having by way of a cake. Blue cake inside if it was a boy, pink if it was a girl. We liked the idea and decided it would be fun to do it with the local fam. When I told my mom what we were planning on doing, she was a little upset because she wanted to know right away and now she would have to wait until we could get the family together later on that evening to find out. She said, "but I'm the grandma!" That didn't sway us. We banned everyone from the kitchen where Grant and I made the secret cake. Here Grant is frosting his little babycake oh so perfectly.

Here's Oma waiting to cut into the cake (I wanted her to use a knife to make clean edges when she cut in the cake to get a pretty picture but she decided she wanted to use the spatula instead). She is so happy we made her wait!

The mystery cake right before it revealed it's secret to everyone...
(what it gunna be???)

The babycake was blue!!! (Did I fool you with my pink font?! :) Little baby boy Lippard (pronounced LePard, sounds french but it's english, I realized that this is cause for some confusion even amongst good friends so... a little FYI) will be joining the mix and oh was daddy happy when he heard the news (and I was happy too of course).

Almost everyone guessed it was going to be a boy! How did everyone know but me!? After we cut the cake and started eating it (yes we ate it and yes it was delicious) we watched the ultrasound DVD so everyone could see for themselves the proof that it was a boy (and they spent quite a bit of time in that little area so we're all sure now). It was cool for everyone (especially for the to-be aunts and uncles) to see the baby and see him moving and the heart beating. It just made it real for everyone who hasn't seen the ultrasound yet to know there really is a baby in there! (That fact still amazes me, and I still have a really bad habit of calling him "it", we'll see how long it takes me to get used to saying "him" or "his").
Right after the ultrasound, Grant and I decided we wanted to celebrate. (I'm all about rituals and tradition and we are starting our own now which is exciting :) We went to Target to make our first purchase for the baby, a little onsie. It was hard for me to steer away from the cute baby girl clothes, but I figure my girl shopping will come soon enough and now I'm looking forward to dressing a little man :) Little boys really are darling. My mom was saying how they're so fun because they dress just like men, just smaller sizes. For girls, their attire changes as they get older and become women, but boys, it's all the same! That's going to be fun. Here's his first outfit from mom and dad.

It says Mommy Loves Me on it. It's weird to think that one day a little body will be occupying the space inside the onsie. Everything was perfect with all the measurements and testing that they have done. The baby is still measuring a week big, so he looks 19 weeks but I'm only 18 weeks along. I must be feeding him well :) Everytime I go in, I just want to see that little heart beating, and it was, at a rate of 134 beats a minute. It's such a relief and a blessing to know he's still doing his thing in there.