Things

Things I didn't like so much surrounding Klein's birth:

• the tingling of the epidural
• the swelling of my body and face (even more than it was) resulting in me being the ugliest I have ever been in my life. period.
• waiting to dilate past a 4 for 17 hours
• the news that I would need a C-section
• the shaking due to labor/epidural
• wanting to sleep so bad but being so uncomfortable it was impossible
• throwing up from the medicine
• being told that Klein would have a cone head because I wasn't dilating and his head was just sinking further and further into a place that wasn't accommodating him (it really wasn't as bad as they thought, thank goodness)
  
• being the ugliest I have ever been in my life. period. (did I say that already?)
• the jello belly I had after he was born (I looked like Santa just in time for Christmas!)
  
• the first couple weeks of breastfeeding (2 lactation consultations later, even though one of the consultants came in and saw Klein eating and exclaimed, "he has a text book latch, text book...")
• not showering for 3 days
• not having a room with an ocean view... :(
• Klein losing 10% of his body weight and freaking me out half to death (because I wasn't having rational thoughts)
• my irrational thoughts freaking me out half to death (he'll die if my milk doesn't come in... he's sleeping too much, etc)
• having to wake Klein up to eat every 2 hours, and keep him awake to "eat"
  
• Being separated from Klein for his circumcision (and thinking how much pain he was in as they brought him back in to my room with a little pacifier next to him that had been used to comfort him during the procedure)
• Levi and Bailey not being able to come meet Klein because of flu season (hospital policy)
  

Things I rather liked surrounding Klein's birth:

• Aunt Annie driving through the nite from Utah, making it into town just in time to see me labor and hear the nurse decide a C-section would be best
• the fact that Grant and I were at Claim Jumper eating a chocolate chip calzone when I decided that I was in labor
  
• Grant making brownies at 1 in the morning for the nurses (a Hypnobabies suggestion) while I was upstairs listening to my hypnobabies cd waiting to go in to the hospital (the nurses were obsessed with him for the brownies that were amazing)
• the nurse that took care of me and all the staff at Hoag
• the fact that I had gone into labor on my own
• having Klein on his due date
• Having friends and family come visit and meet Klein
• the flowers that Grant's parents and my brother John sent to us
  
• the pain meds that made breastfeeding and moving possible
• the sponge bath that the nurse gave me (seriously)
• finally being able to take a shower and do my hair
• the electronic adjustable bed
• the tv
• the meals that were brought in
• getting Klein dressed to go home in his outfit that we bought him when we found out he was a boy
  
• Grant staying with me 24/7 in the hospital and afterwards

Things I loved surrounding Klein's birth:

• watching Klein be born (the anesthesiologist convinced me to watch Klein come out during the C-section stating that it wasn't going to be "that bad" and that I wouldn't see myself cut open, just the baby. I first saw his dark hair and then they pulled his little body out and held him up to the mirror so I could see him. I saw his little face for the first time as he was crying like crazy and I immediately fell in love and started crying out of joy. Probably the second time in my life I have cried out of joy. That moment was probably the best moment of my life.
• Hearing Grant say, "he looks like you! He's a Bench." about Klein right after he was born
• Hearing everyone else say he looked just like Grant, including my own mother
  
• Seeing Grant hold Klein as he brought him over to me while they were stitching me up. I just saw the back of Grant's head as he was enamored by Klein, rocking him and trying to hold him as close to me as possible so I could get a good look at him
• The doctors and Grant's reassurance that Klein's ballistic crying after he was born was really good, and Grant looking at him and telling me, "he's turning pink really quick"
• Hearing the nurse refer to me as Mommy to Klein for the first time right before she put him in my arms
• Having the moment with my mom when she came back to see Klein and I was holding him and feeding him (he rooted the second he was on me so I started to feed him right away) and she said, "Callie!" and put her hand to her mouth and we both started crying
• Anne coming back to meet Klein in the recovery room
• All the nurses and doctors telling us how beautiful the baby was and how he didn't "look like a newborn" and saying that "most the time, newborns aren't this cute"
• having him room in with me and holding him constantly
  
• Noticing Klein's dimples
• Our first moments together as a family
  
• Grant reassuring me that everything was going to be perfect while I was having my meltdowns and being there for Klein and I without fail 24/7
• the drive home from the hospital where I was sitting in back with Klein and Grant was driving and noticing Grant tear up as he was talking about looking at "that little face"
  

All in all, it was such a great experience that Grant and I will treasure forever.

Guess what Santa forgot at our house...

and when he found out, he had a hissy fit.

then Oma talked to him and he calmed down a bit.

she showed him the gift that Santa left for him.

Daddy talked to him and after much consideration...

He decided to stay.

Tubby Time

Klein got his first tubby last nite. It was fun and he seemed to like it. The picture on the top left is him right when he got in. He's deciding what he thinks about the whole bath thing. It was fun as Grant held his head straight and I cleaned him. We tried to quickly dry him off so he wouldn't get cold. It was a fun Family Home Evening activity.

It seems that when I gave birth, I entered into the Twilight Zone. Nothing is normal yet and taking care of the little man has proved to be a taxing task. Although, I really love it. There are so many wonderful things about being a new mom, but so many difficult things as well. The hardest part, you guessed it, the lack of sleep in the night. In the hospital, we had to wake him up to eat, but now, he has certainly mastered the task of waking me up to eat. Grant takes the first shift in the nite, from 10 to 3, and then I take over after that.

I am just so grateful for a patient partner, who does so much to help, who has really embraced his role as a father, but hasn't forgotten about being a husband.

Nothing to complain about, just a lot of things to get used to. Klein is such a good baby and makes the funniest faces to entertain me during the day. And I love his squeaks. And when he straightens his legs right out when I change him. Also, when he goes cross-eyed and sticks his lips out like a fish. He is a fun little guy. He will be three weeks on Tuesday and we are the happiest family living in the Twilight Zone.

Check It Out Klein

Check out a glimpse of Klein's first professional photo shoot here at Danielle Locken's Photography Blog. Danielle is such a talented photographer. I'm so glad she was able to do these. They are just perfect, same as my little man. If any of you want yours or your little one's photos taken, call her! She's amazing.

Kleiners

Grant was so happy about our new arrival that he blogged for the first time. Thanks to all of you for your congratulations and love! We are so blessed to have so many friends and family to share our joy with.

I will write soon about all the details but I wanted to share a picture of the cutest face I've ever seen.

Introducing...

He's here! Klein Richman Lippard arrived yesterday at 2:01pm, weighing in at 7 lbs, 8 oz and a lanky 20.5 inches. He has momma's chin and ears and daddy's dimple and long fingers!

Here he is in the incubator right after he was delivered. He was super calm and happy right from the start.

I think he takes after the Bench side but Callie, Oma Ludloff, and a lot of the nurses think he looks like daddy. What do you think?

After 17 hours of labor, Callie had a C-section as the labor failed to progress but she was happy to meet our little guy sooner rather than later. Baby and mom are both doing wonderfully. Klein has been perfectly content and has passed all his tests with flying colors and he's already flirting with all the nurses.
We are very proud of him and can't wait to take him home on Friday or Saturday! We'll post more pics soon!

Update

My due date is tomorrow! I was checked for the first time today to see if I was dilated or effaced (which hurt a lot). Anyway, the doctor told me I was 0% dilated and 0% effaced which concerned me because usually I guess people are at least at a 1 or a 2 by now! It was discouraging. Does this mean I am going to end up being 42 weeks pregnant (yikes) and have to be induced or have a C-section?! I am a little beside myself right now. Anyone have a similar experience? I know everyone is different but I am just so ready to have this baby and to feel like it could be still 2 weeks away! That's just insane!

Guess Who This Is

I will give you one guess (because I know who you'll pick)

If any of you guessed Gisele Bundchen, you are...

Wrong.

It's me, but I know it kinda looks like her pregnant body so I don't blame you for guessing her. I seriously get it all the time.

38 weeks and counting...

We have purchased our car seat, snap and go, pack n play (which we are using for the bassinet and changing table to save on space), and we are waiting on a bid for my double electric breast pump. Fun!! I can't wait to hook that thing up :) I need to find a diaper bag. We've got diapers, wipes and tons of cute clothes and great stuff (thanks to my wonderful friends and family that attended my baby showers and sent gifts... Thanks so much!!!)and yet there is still so much to get it seems like! And then there's the question, what to pack in the hospital bag? So far we've got snacks, camera, socks, grant comfy outfits, outfit to bring home baby, a couple receiving blankets, laptop, makeup, shampoo and conditioner, change for the vending machine, uh... am I forgetting anything?!

Probably.

My Baby's Face

In a recent post, I mentioned how weird it was coming to the realization that my baby already has a face. Well, yesterday I saw it! It was during my 37 week ultrasound that my mom and I saw the precious one's profile as he held his fist up to his face. The only problem was, his profile looked like Homer Simpson! Mayday Mayday!! My mom and I were both kinda like, "Uhm, cute...kinda" with worried looks, I burst out in tears. Just kidding. It wasn't that dramatic and I have enough sense to know that I can't possibly tell what my bundle of joy will look like when he makes his appearance from a fuzzy ultrasound pic (right?! anyone, anyone??) where you can't make out what anything is unless the ultrasound tech tells you and points it out. "This is his femur, this is his head, this is his stomach, this is his middle finger..." Just kidding. I'm sure they don't point that out. Anyway. I panicked a little, but rest assured, I will love my baby whether he looks as cute as a button or like a grown cartoon man. Luckily, our baby boy's brain is the normal size, so in that respect, he won't be like Homer.

(Has anyone else had this experience where the baby looked weird in the ultrasound? Or even right after they were born? I need some reassurance here. Please say yes!)

The rest of the ultrasound was exciting though. He was in the right position (head down) which I figured he wasn't since I am constantly feeling blunt force trauma to my hips (not in my ribs like everyone else). It hurts!! And I figured it was him kicking me, but it turns out, his head is down so they must be punches. (I'm always so surprised when things go right with this pregnancy for some reason). The ultrasound lady also said, "he must be thinking about something because I can see his eyes moving around". That was funny. His foot was so far over on my side that she couldn't see it with the machine and he has grown so much since the last ultrasound. She did some calculations and said he weighs about 6.5 pounds (so what's the other 35 pounds about?!) so she estimates that he'll weight about 7.5-8 lbs when he's born. We'll see... I will be full term on Wednesday so they say he could come any day, but I'm not counting on it. I expect him around Dec. 10th or something... although I wouldn't mind him coming earlier. Maybe that's what he was thinking about. Debating whether or not to come out now or wait a little while longer...I wonder what I could do to sway his decision. Let the mind games and manipulation that is parenting begin! Or is that what you do when you're the kid?

Pregnancy Dream

Sjauna just made a comment on my previous post that reminded me of something I wanted to document (thank you Sj).

My Pregnancy Dream:

A couple months ago, I had a dream! I dreamed (is dreamt really not a word?! Since when?) that I was pregnant (which I am) and that the baby was moving around a ton (which he is). One nite (in my dream) the baby was moving around so much and was pushing his hand on my belly, but he was pushing so hard that I thought he was going to rip my skin open with his hand. I looked down at my stomach and saw his hand and arm pushing my skin so tight (kinda like the picture above only a million times stronger). I went to the doctor and expressed how I thought the baby was going to rip my skin open and the doctor said that it was an emergency and I needed a C-Section to get him out because he was suffering from claustrophobia.

After I woke up, I told Grant and he said,

"You would have a dream where your baby needed to come out because of a psychological disorder."

It was funny. My baby already has psychological issues and he's not even born yet! I think I'm a little paranoid or something, and I think the dream stems from a combination of seeing the picture above, (which I've seen before and thought it was amazing), the baby moving so much and me worrying he doesn't have enough room, my dad being a psychiatrist, and having a few family and friends that needed emergency C-sections. I think that's why I dreamed that.

Does This Make You Feel Weird?

Because of my recent illness (thank you all of you for your well wishes, I am doing better), I can't really breathe that well. I haven't been able to really breathe that well my whole pregnancy, I'm so stuffy and can't sleep that well because of it, but it seems like it's been worse since I've had the flu and hasn't left me. For example, sometimes when I breathe, I sound like a kazoo. One nite I was sleeping while Grant was still up working and he said he could hear me waking myself up every time I went into a deep sleep because of my breathing problems. After this, I decided I would try a Neti Pot (we got it at Wal-Mart, it was the last one left). When I first did it, I felt weird about it. It felt weird to put the pot into my nose, it felt weird as Grant watched me in complete wonderment, it felt weird as I tipped my head to the side and waiting for the water to start dripping out my nose, and then it really felt weird when the water started running through (there is something that doesn't feel quite right about it the first time- like drowning).

I think it's working though. I've been able to breathe better since I've been using. It still makes me feel weird though.

Another thing that makes me feel weird was this realization:

My baby already has a face!! (Is that a deep thought or what?) The thought of "the baby" to me is still so obscure, even though I feel him moving all the time and I carry him with me everywhere I go (that's weird too). Grant and I were talking the other day in the car about how weird it's going to be to be parents and have a baby! and that he will be here pretty soon (about a month or so). We keep talking about this abstract baby and then I came to the weird realization that we were talking about someone who is already with us. He is inside my body. He is here here here. He's not abstract but the idea of him is. He is already with us, we are already his parents. I wonder what he'll look like and I realize he already looks like something (or someone hopefully). He already has a face! I just don't know what it looks like yet (could be a Grant face, could be a me face). Anyway, that made me feel weird. We talk about him as if he's not here yet, but he is here, and he's with me 24/7. Everywhere I go, everything I do, he's here. It just makes me feel weird.

Also, if we had 100 bucks that we were willing to spend on Halloween Costumes, I would chose these:

Mainly because the oven would almost cover my whole body. (Isn't that chef hat amazing?! Look how high it goes!)

Also, my food blog address has been changed. It is no longer
www.strikekitchen.blogspot.com
although this is still Steph's great food blog. The new address is:
www.kitchencollaborations.blogspot.com
It's still the same blog, just different address and name.
I haven't posted on it in a while, but I'm afraid the fall weather might just lure me into the kitchen and I'm sure you all want to know what happens next... :)


(Is it just me, or did this post make you feel weird?)

Update

Yeah, I have the Swine Flu. NOT fun at all... AND my phone still isn't functional. Thank goodness for NyQuil, Tylenol, Gatorade, Sprite, Oatmeal, Lysol Disinfectant Spray, Soda Water, Hot Baths, Tamiflu, Doctors, Costco Pharmacy, the Internet, Loving Family and Friends, Prayers, Priesthood Blessings, Active Babies even though their Moms are Sick, Husbands willing to leave their phone behind for their wives use in case of emergency, Husbands staying home from work to take care of their sick wives, Husbands still kissing and cuddling their wives even though they are sick with the Swine Flu, the Food Network and the Colbert Report. There's more but I think I'm going to go lay down and watch Oprah. Oh yeah, and thank goodness for Oprah and comfy couches.

So, My Mom went Outta Town

Wednesday Morning: I say goodbye to my mom at the airport as she boards a plane to Maryland to see her sisters. This marks the beginning of my reign in the house for a few days. Not that big of a deal really. Getting geared up for all the rides and activities I need to be on top of. Soccer practice, Football practice, YW/YM Activity at the park, Grant's Softball game, etc. Wednesday was the busiest day for activities until everything was canceled due to the rain we were getting. I relaxed a little thinking my life was going to be pretty easy.

skip to
Friday Morning: I send Grant off to work and Bailey off to school making sure all the homework was done and lunches were made. I realize Levi is still home meaning that the illness he was alluding to the nite before probably got worse. That's okay because Grant had a cold that lasted about a day last weekend and I figured it was the same thing. I just tried to make Levi comfortable on the couch with some NyQuil to help him sleep it off.

Friday Afternoon: I go to the store to get Levi some Coke and bananas because now he is feeling worse and is having a bit of nausea.

Later Friday Afternoon: I get out of the shower and hear Levi yelling for me. I get dressed and go downstairs and ask him what's wrong. He says, "the NyQuil isn't working", neither is the acetaminophen (which dosages I spaced out). I hear him on the couch lamenting to himself, "Why? Why?" (when I hear this, I smile a little because I have probably done the exact same thing). Now, Levi has a fever and is feeling much worse with a cough and stuffy nose. I start to realize this is not what Grant had and make an appointment for Levi to see the doctor at 4.

Friday Evening: We see the doctor and he pulls me aside and tells me he thinks Levi has the SWINE FLU and that Levi is really sick. Levi gets a shot and some pain medicine and I go to the store to fill his Rx. He starts to feel a lot better. I'm not usually one for panicking but I'm pregnant and have a virtually non-existent immune system so I'm feeling a little stressed about it.

Saturday Morning: My mom is coming home tonite so I start to try and get everything that Levi used washed. This includes everything on the couch, 2 beds, towels, clothes, and anything else I can think of that he might have touched. 5 loads of laundry later, we mopped, swept, vacuumed, folded clothes, made two beds, disinfected the entire living room and kitchen and bathroom, all in time for my mom to get home to a close-to swine-flu-free house. In the meantime, I was probably exposed to it like a thousand times. We forgo the opportunity to go to the BYU game in San Diego and meet up with friends for dinner. It's a sad and frantic day.

Sunday Morning: 9 o clock church starts but everyone in the house is sleeping because we are staying home from church so as to not infect anyone there. Quarantined and Levi gets cabin fever (a pretty severe case of it). We play "What If" as our game for Family Home Evening and all laugh like crazy at the question, "What if Callie's baby was growing in her butt?" (mom's question) and the random answer, "Then that would be weird" I could go on and on. (If you haven't played that game before, it's the best thing ever). The game cures Levi's cabin fever.

Monday Morning: I'm just waiting it out hoping that I don't get whatever it is that he had.

PS. Did I mention my phone totally died so I had to send it in and have been without it for the last week, which almost stresses me out as much as the possibility of getting the Swine Flu? Yeah, that's how sick I am.

Levi, before the Swine Flu

Jem is my name, No one else is the same

My FAVORITE Halloween ever was when I was 9 and I was Jem (does anyone remember her? Her alter ego, Jerika? Her band The Holograms? Her computer friend Synergy and her boyfriend Rio with purple hair? Her rival band The Misfits?). I can't describe my feelings of pure elation (I don't think a 9 year old has ever been so happy) when I put on my Jem costume that my mom had made (she refused to buy any store bought costumes and made us all our costumes, and they were always AMAZING). I was a little reluctant since my mom didn't have a pattern for the Jem outfit. It was the first time I actually wanted a store bought costume because I wasn't sure what my mom was going to do and how it would look. The moment I saw my mom's masterpiece complete with the white leather fringe belt and star (synergy) earrings and pink hair spray, I became Jem. (My costume looked EXACTLY like the outfit pictured above) It was one of the happiest moments of my life.

Up-Date Night Week 33

It's time my friends, no not that time.
(I always imagine when I start into the birthing time to say to Grant, "honey, it's time" like in the movies. I wonder if it will happen like that :)
It's time for some kinda "bump" pictures (probably not what you all had in mind), and some news on what's been going on. Here is a picture of a few of my bumps. I still have to gain enough courage for a complete photo shoot. Not feeling very photogenic lately. More like, I don't even want to look at myself in the mirror let alone in a picture. Yeah. It's like that.

I've been feeling pretty good otherwise. Although, the pressure of my belly is causing some back aches and other effects are stuffy nose, headaches and fatigue. I haven't had like a totally crazy appetite though which is a blessing for me. I'm feeling the baby kick all the time. He is really active and it's been fun. He's big enough now where I can put my hand on my belly and feel his little body (although I don't know which part, whether it's an arm, leg, fist, head, etc). I've also been a little crafty (this might be the extent of my nesting, I feel like my mom is nesting more than me, which is funny), although I would not consider myself to be a crafty person. I saw a website about DIY onesies and I found some cute images (actually, Grant drew the ties) and fabrics and attempted to make some. I think they turned out pretty cute. I'm excited to dress him for church with his ties and bowties. He'll be looking official, a white shirt and tie, just like his daddy.

In other news, Grant and I started our Hypnobabies classes. (My grandma used hypnosis during childbirth as a part of a UCLA study of it back in the day and it totally worked for her). We are attending a group that is all first time moms which is kinda fun. We have been to 3 classes so far (there are 6 total) and really like it. It is a combination of regular childbirth classes and also learning hypnosis as a form of anesthesia. It's kinda along the same lines as people who use hypnosis for surgeries when they can't have anesthesia. It's been really informative and Grant has been such a good sport. There are scripts he has to read to me. To be quite honest, I'm still pretty convinced I'll need an epidural but I figure that some back up plan of pain management is a good idea. I mean, you never know... Plus, maybe it will help with the whole breastfeeding thing if I happen to need a way of coping with that sometimes painful thing (I'm a big big baby).

It was sweet the other day, Grant says to me, "I have to admit, I'm gunna miss the belly" Now, when you're not feeling your prettiest, hottest, most attractive self, these words from your husband are very sweet indeed. At least he doesn't think I'm a monster. I couldn't imagine what it would feel like to be going through all these changes and emotions and on top of everything feel like my husband was no longer interested in me because of them. I am so blessed to have his unconditional love during all this. It means so much.

Also, the other day, my mom says, "I thought maybe I could give you a pedicure" So sweet!! It was so sweet. She painted my toenails complete with little decals. Then, Bailey wanted one. No Bailey, not until you're pregnant and can't reach your toes!

Finally

Week 24
Grant FINALLY felt the baby boy move last nite while we were laying on the couch watching a special on TLC about the Tree Man (amazing story by the way). The baby was going crazy for some reason so I told Grant to try and feel him move. The baby was moving all around and the smaller movements Grant couldn't feel but then the baby did a power punch and Grant's face lit up. Then the baby did a power kick and he felt him again! It was a fun moment. Also, this weekend marks the first occasion when a perfect stranger came and asked when I was due. Finally!

So Two Thousand and Late

As of [Two Thousand and] Late:

• I saw a picture of me and remembered how I used to have a jawline...and cheekbones

• I invested in a bottle of Tums for the first time in my life
  

• Grant and I had a lovely visit to Abingdon, Virginia to visit my dad and family where we enjoyed thunderstorms, picking (and eating) ripe green beans, tomatoes (including hierloom), broccoli, broccoli rabe, zucchini, cilantro, beets, and watching garlic being cured from the garden, attending the Barter Theater to see a Mentalist duo and watching the production The Controversial Rescue of Fatty the Pig (based on a true event in Appalachia), the Highlands Festival, stopping at a soda shoppe and having fresh jerked root beer, getting a Dip Dog, walking the Creeper Trail,seeing fireflies!, seeing a bunch of old barns, green rolling hills with colonial style homes placed perfectly on them, watching Conan and Late Nite with Jimmy Fallon every nite, and spending time with family. So fun.
  

• I'm feeling the baby kicking all the time, it was most interesting to note how the baby went bonkers as the plane was taking off and landing. I guess his pool was sloshing around a little during the altitude change. Although the baby is moving quite a bit, Grant still hasn't been successful in feeling the baby move. The little man stops moving as soon as Grant's hand is placed on top of his home. Grant already has the magic daddy touch to calm and discipline the children.
  

• Grant said, "okay honey, I'm going to take the luggage upstairs" and then Bailey turns to me (I was lying on the couch, just having arrived from the airport after traveling all day) and says, "Callie, you're pampered" and then I replied, "yes Bailey, I suppose I am". Then Bailey offered to take my purse and carry-on upstairs. It was sweet.
  

• We went to a birthday party where we had to guess what food was in the baby food jars and I did better than I thought (5 out of 10).

• Last nite, Anne, Bailey, and I were singing the I Like to Eat Apples and Bananas song where I made up a "y" verse that goes, "I like to yite yite yite yie-pples and ba-yie-yie-s" that made perfect sense to Anne and Bailey. We now have made it a regular verse after the "u" verse. It sounds quite nice.
  

Check It Out This

While checking out websites trying to find inspiration for a Nursery (when we have one), I have come across some of the best stuff. I can't believe the talent that some people have and the creativity! It's so inspiring. And all the fun blogs. It's a whole new baby world! Pictured above is one of the things I love. I'm so down with this wallpaper that doubles as picture frames. I love the idea of adding children's art and pictures with a bunch of color and the contrast against the black and white. This would be so much fun! I found it here at Spearmint Baby. They also have this post featuring the cutest wallpaper (I love the one with the clocks too). I also have fallen in love with this art by Blanca Gomez.

I have found that I am really feeling the Vintage European look which can totally be combined with a modern look for some eclectic style. Another item I liked (found at Shawn and Frank)...

For those of you expecting a child, those of you who already have a child, or those of you who just appreciate art (most of the stuff can be used in the house just in general), check out some of these websites (I have a link to all of them I'm referring to over on the left side column under Babystuff, but if you know of other great sites, feel free to let me know about them. You have to remember I'm new at this :) They are so fun!

Musical Me

Actually, I'm not musical but I just have some music on my mind! First of all, I have to say that my favorite part of Micheal Jackson's Memorial (yes, I watched it, I figured it was part of history) was John Mayer's contribution. I loved the song he played first of all, and I thought it was appropriate he didn't sing.



Next, one of the songs I'm really loving lately is Electric Feel by MGMT which has such a good, kinda 80's beat/feel to it.

That is all I feel I need to say about music right now.

As Promised...The Baby "Journey"...

Okay, as promised, this is the point where I give information that might be in the TMI classification for some people and in the Interesting and Helpful classification for others so... Here it is. Read at your own risk (especially men, but I must say, once you are married men get an ear full of things they never knew and didn't ever want to know concerning a woman's body and it's many facets, but they listen and remember and try to understand and cuddle us when we are being confusing, that's how it should be anyway :).

My symptoms for PCOS started in high school. Unlike some people with PCOS, I had basically all the classic symptoms but was never diagnosed in high school with anything because I honestly think it's something that gynecologists don't pay attention to unless you're ready to get pregnant because that's when the complications start to effect things a lot bigger than your self esteem. With PCOS, periods are either irregular (which mine always were) or non-existent. The main problem with PCOS when trying to get pregnant is women with it only ovulate about 4 times a year as opposed to the normal 12+ times a year that other women ovulate. It's hard to conceive when you're not ovulating (obviously). When I got married, for some reason I thought it might be difficult for me to get pregnant and I wasn't really worried about getting pregnant right away so I didn't go on birth control (and I also enrolled for an insurance plan that would cover infertility...just in case.) After 6 months of being married, I decided to go on birth control when I realized it was a lot easier than taking a thousand pregnancy tests a week (that are so expensive, even when you are buying them in bulk from Costco or online) and having that constant panicked question in my mind, "am I pregnant?" I was on birth control for 6 months until Grant and I had been married for a year and worked out our major kinks and adjustments with our new married life together and figured if we did get pregnant, we'd be ready. I took a pregnancy test on April 29, 2008 on a whim about a month after I went off birth control and found out (to my utter astonishment) that I was pregnant. (This detail was actually the thing that prompted my OB to do official tests for PCOS because getting pregnant immediately off birth control is one symptom of it, especially since I didn't get pregnant those first 6 months). I was pregnant for about 9 weeks (never heard a heartbeat or had an ultrasound and I wasn't sick AT ALL) when I started bleeding and went to the emergency room late one Sunday nite and was told by the ER doctor that the ultrasound they took was really confusing and they didn't see a baby, just a yolk sac. At that time, I really didn't know what a yolk sac was and how it related to pregnancy or anything so I was totally confused. I saw my doctor the next day who told me I was having a miscarriage. That was hard to hear. Later, Dr. Hatch (who I will introduce further in the next paragraph) guessed that my pregnancy wasn't viable past 5 weeks, but I just didn't pass it right away (which is technically called a missed miscarriage). I passed the pregnancy naturally and although it was difficult, painful and it raised some red flags, it wasn't enough to deter me from trying to get pregnant again. After all, miscarriage is actually really common and I had no real reason to think there was anything really wrong. From my reading and from what people said, getting pregnant is really easy in the first 3 months after a miscarriage so I just looked forward to that. I ended up getting pregnant again, but this time I miscarried at 5 weeks. Not AS big of a deal as the first time but it was still difficult thinking there could be something really wrong with me, and it made me get serious about figuring out what my body was trying to tell me. My OB diagnosed me with PCOS but that's really all he told me and he wanted to put me on Clomid to help me ovulate. I didn't feel like my body was ready for another pregnancy and I wanted to get my body where I wanted it to be before I tried to get pregnant again. With the PCOS diagnosis, I started looking online and found a website that I found to be really informative and had a program for reversing PCOS. Interestingly enough I found out that PCOS stems from an underlying condition called Insulin Resistance meaning your body doesn't use carbs for energy like most people, carbs just go straight to fat and if you're eating too many carbs, you gain weight super easy and it accumulates in the mid-section causing hormonal imbalances. (This made perfect sense to me because I have been on a lot of diets and the only one that worked for me was a low carb diet.) Everything clicked and so I went on this program. Knowing that my hormones might be all out of whack and not knowing how bad it was, I sought out a reproductive endocrinologist. I found Dr. Hatch through online searches and I really liked what people were saying about her so I called and made an appointment. Luckily our insurance is so good that it covers infertility and I didn't need a referral to see her. She was AMAZING. I can't stress how much her personal interest and sensitivity impressed and comforted me, and not just her but her staff! I was really spoiled by them. Dr. Hatch did a miscarriage workup on me that included a ton of blood tests and some special ultrasounds where she saw something a little suspicious in my uterus and so she scheduled me for surgery to see what it was and take care of everything. The surgery went perfectly.

I was on my program (low carb diet, tons of herbal supplements, 75 min of exercise a day) for about 2 months and my periods totally regulated. I had three normal periods in a row (which I have never had before) and so after a total of 5 months on the program I felt like my body was where it needed to be to get pregnant so I went back in to Dr. Hatch and they started monitoring me to know exactly when I was going to ovulate. I ovulated that month and after that, they did a pregnancy test about 2 weeks later and low and behold, it was positive! Dr. Hatch gave me a hug and congratulated me. For the first 3 months I was on a high risk pregnancy regimen and Dr. Hatch and her staff continued to monitor me until my 13th week. This time I have seen the heart beat, seen the baby move and know the pregnancy is viable. It has been such a comfort to me to have that extra attention and monitoring. I know the Insulite program I was on helped me regulate my cycle so that my hormones were balanced and I was ovulating regularly, but getting pregnant was only half the battle. I really think the main reason for my miscarriages was what Dr. Hatch removed during surgery. This journey has really helped me realize how powerful a woman's intuition can be and even when my body wasn't cooperating, I was still able to listen to it and find the medical support I needed to fix it. Also, Grant was so supportive during the whole thing. When I told him I wanted to try that program to reverse PCOS, he supported me, even though it wasn't cheap. When I told him I wanted to see an infertility specialist, he supported me. When I told him I didn't want to go on Clomid, he supported me. Even though he was excited and wanted a baby, he didn't make me feel bad for waiting a little longer to find out what might be going on with my body. He never rushed me into anything or made me feel bad for anything that happened. He has been such a great companion during this and even though it's my body that needed the medical attention, he was involved and interested in the whole process coming to doctors appointments with me when he could and calling me and asking me how everything went when he couldn't be there. Now that we're pregnant (I say "we" because I inform Grant so much about what is going on with my body and what I'm feeling that I'm sure he feels it as much as I do :), we are excited but I am still nervous. Being pregnant isn't ever a sure thing for a healthy baby. There are still a lot of things that could happen. Having a history of things not going right, I can't help but be concerned and a little worried but I figure whatever happens, we'll get through it and learn a lot in the process, especially being parents. I hope we'll get through that :)

Well, there it is. I hope that for those of you out there that might be going through something similar or are suspicious of certain things right now, that this information might be helpful. I know that I wished that my doctors would've informed me better what was going on before I had traumatic experiences, but I'm so glad for what I have learned and the success I've been able to have with the research and greater knowledge about what my body needs that I have gained through these experiences. I am also so grateful for the doctors and programs that are out there that really help with something so delicate as having a child.

The Babycake

(I had to make another post identical to the first post that wasn't showing the pictures for some reason, and it wouldn't let me save my comments... if you've already commented...comment again! Love you!)

Well, we went in for our 18 week ultrasound to make sure everything is checking out okay and we found out what we're having. We were watching TV last nite and saw a show where the expecting couple announced to their family what they were having by way of a cake. Blue cake inside if it was a boy, pink if it was a girl. We liked the idea and decided it would be fun to do it with the local fam. When I told my mom what we were planning on doing, she was a little upset because she wanted to know right away and now she would have to wait until we could get the family together later on that evening to find out. She said, "but I'm the grandma!" That didn't sway us. We banned everyone from the kitchen where Grant and I made the secret cake. Here Grant is frosting his little babycake oh so perfectly.

Here's Oma waiting to cut into the cake (I wanted her to use a knife to make clean edges when she cut in the cake to get a pretty picture but she decided she wanted to use the spatula instead). She is so happy we made her wait!

The mystery cake right before it revealed it's secret to everyone...
(what it gunna be???)

The babycake was blue!!! (Did I fool you with my pink font?! :) Little baby boy Lippard (pronounced LePard, sounds french but it's english, I realized that this is cause for some confusion even amongst good friends so... a little FYI) will be joining the mix and oh was daddy happy when he heard the news (and I was happy too of course).

Almost everyone guessed it was going to be a boy! How did everyone know but me!? After we cut the cake and started eating it (yes we ate it and yes it was delicious) we watched the ultrasound DVD so everyone could see for themselves the proof that it was a boy (and they spent quite a bit of time in that little area so we're all sure now). It was cool for everyone (especially for the to-be aunts and uncles) to see the baby and see him moving and the heart beating. It just made it real for everyone who hasn't seen the ultrasound yet to know there really is a baby in there! (That fact still amazes me, and I still have a really bad habit of calling him "it", we'll see how long it takes me to get used to saying "him" or "his").
Right after the ultrasound, Grant and I decided we wanted to celebrate. (I'm all about rituals and tradition and we are starting our own now which is exciting :) We went to Target to make our first purchase for the baby, a little onsie. It was hard for me to steer away from the cute baby girl clothes, but I figure my girl shopping will come soon enough and now I'm looking forward to dressing a little man :) Little boys really are darling. My mom was saying how they're so fun because they dress just like men, just smaller sizes. For girls, their attire changes as they get older and become women, but boys, it's all the same! That's going to be fun. Here's his first outfit from mom and dad.

It says Mommy Loves Me on it. It's weird to think that one day a little body will be occupying the space inside the onsie. Everything was perfect with all the measurements and testing that they have done. The baby is still measuring a week big, so he looks 19 weeks but I'm only 18 weeks along. I must be feeding him well :) Everytime I go in, I just want to see that little heart beating, and it was, at a rate of 134 beats a minute. It's such a relief and a blessing to know he's still doing his thing in there.

Filho ou Filha? Ninguem sabe.

We find out on Wednesday (if our shy baby cooperates) what the baby is! Plus, I felt the baby move today (down in my right lower belly)! It was exciting. I was peacefully reading The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society for our book club and as much as I couldn't imagine what people were describing when they said it felt like gas, that's kinda what it felt like! And this last weekend was the first time people actually started noticing my belly. Just an update on some of the milestones I am experiencing as a pregger. Any guesses on what the baby will be?!

Maybe it's Cuz...

Maybe it's cuz I'm pregnant and emotional (but not overly so, I don't think), or maybe it's because G is out of town, but reading this post on the very popular Nie blog made me cry. I was so glad that she has a good husband to take care of her during this hard time and I was so glad knowing that my G would do the same for me, with the same amount of love, if he ever had to. I miss him.

I went to the doctors today and I was able to hear the "swoosh swoosh" of the baby's heart. I haven't actually heard the heart before, I've seen it on ultrasound but never had the sound filled my ears until today. I was sad that Grant wasn't there to hear it and when I texted him I heard the heart he texted back, "I'm jealous." At least while Grant is out of town, he left me a fetus to remember him by. He is so thoughtful.

This reminds me...

So, I went and purchased my first maternity pants and skirts and shirts that will accommodate me as I expand (which I've already done quite a bit of) and let me tell you, the moment I put those jeans on, I heard a heavenly choir break out in song. They were so much more comfortable than the old rubberband trick I had been using on my regular jeans. I was so grateful for maternity pants. That comfortable expandable band of spandex that looks so funny was a merciful blessing bestowed upon me by the clothing gods. Although putting them on changed my pregnant world forever, I couldn't help but think of this little video...



Is this my future?

When it rains, it pours

I received a letter in the mail saying that I was accepted into Nursing School (which I've been trying to get in to for the last year!) So exciting!

I would be well on my way to Nursing School graduation starting this September if it weren't for this...

growing inside my body. I am 13 weeks pregnant (due December 1st) but the baby is measuring at 14 weeks (by the way, we know the exact date of conception because I've been so closely monitored, so the baby is just big) and the Physician Assistant said her unscientific guess was that it's a boy (which made Grant really happy but kinda surprised me because I thought it would be a girl.) Anyway, needless to say I have been feeling uncomfortable and so fat for the last few months and I'm sure it will continue. I didn't get morning sickness really, just indigestion and nausea if I don't eat every couple hours. For the most part, I can't complain because I know some people have it so much worse. I've been spoiled with ultrasounds every week for my first trimester as I was seeing my reproductive endocrinologist (I was seeing one because I was diagnosed with PCOS and had two miscarriages and her name is Dr. Hatch and she is AMAZING) but I'm proud to announce that I am no longer a high risk pregnancy (which had a thousand "don'ts" which were crazy like no exercise, no flying, no tonic water, and about 10 others.) So now, I am just a normal pregnancy which is good because now I can exercise again but bad because I don't get weekly ultrasounds. Things are perfect with the baby so far and whether it's a he or a she, it's big... Just a little frustrated about nursing school because I don't want to leave a newborn at a babysitters so I'm going to defer for a year and see where I am... Things are good though. We're excited.

I think I will write my story of getting pregnant or you could call it a "journey" in a blog post coming soon for those interested...

Highlights

Grant and I have been quite busy the last few weeks. These pictures do not do our trips/happenings justice, but to be quite frank, I didn't really feel like taking pictures or getting my picture taken. I just sat back, relaxed, and enjoyed the trip more than concerned myself with capturing every moment on film (although it's always nice to have pictures to remember the trip by.) Here are just a few:

Grant and I took a Fun Ship called The Elation to Catalina and Ensenada. Grant had never been on a cruise before so we decided to take just a little cheap short cruise to introduce him. It was kinda crazy for me because I felt dizzy the whole time but Grant felt fine. We had fun just chillin. Here we are in Ensenada:

A surprise in Ensenada was seeing The Black Pearl from the movie Pirates of the Carribean. It was just sitting there in this obscure location. It was pretty funny.

We went on an excursion called A Taste of Mexico where we went to this restaurant and we made all these Mexican dishes. Tamales, Tostadas, and Guacamole. Here is the ingredients for our Guac. A little trick they told us to keep the guacamole from turning brown is to keep the pit from the avocado in the guac. Look how pretty it was!

Then Grant and I took a trip up the coast for about 5 days. We had never driven up together so it was a lot of fun. We stayed in Solvang, San Luis Obispo, Carmel-by-the-sea, and San Fran of course. I also had my birthday on our trip and we had fun enjoying all the beautiful scenery and eating at fun little restaurants. We explored a lot of little quint towns and got to know some of the variety of landscapes California has to offer. On our way to Carmel, we were on Highway 1 driving through Big Sur and there was a rain storm that was really pretty until we reached a point in the middle of the mountains where they said the road was closed due to a mud slide. We had no sleeping bags or blankets in the car and we were only like 30 minutes away from where we were going to be staying. It was getting dark and we were wondering what we were going to do! We decided to park our car on the highway and wait it out. We started reading a book to eachother called The Secret History that we both got into and it took our thoughts off of our situation until they opened up the road about 2 hours later (originally they told us it would be closed all nite!) It was a fun adventure. Here is where we were stranded:

When we got home, Grant picked up playing softball with the ward which he has been looking forward to for forever and came home with this little baby:

He pulled his hammy! He is still suffering, but went to the doctor and he said it was okay but he might need physical therapy but luckily he doesn't need surgery.

Yesterday we had our 2 year Anniversary so we celebrated by going to the temple where it all began and went out for some nice Japanese cuisine.

So much in the last month! No wonder I'm too tired to blog :)

Bailey (while watching Twilight): Callie, Grant's cheating on you!

About a year and a half ago, Grant and I went to Hawaii and we wanted to go Parasailing. We were visiting our friends Dave and Sjauna, who were kind enough to snap some pictures of us while we were up in the air. They were taken from far away and we were so dark I couldn't see our faces. I decided to lighten them up in Photoshop so that I could see our faces. Here is what I found:
Grant and I posing up in the air. Notice Grant has his thumbs up in the air but I was way too freaked out to let go of the ropes.

Our poses quickly turned to this:

and as we were lowering back down at the end:

as if nothing ever happened.

Finally seeing the expressions on our (my) face was like opening a present. I hope you feel the same.

Grandma Bench's Amazing Heart

Last weekend I got a call from my dad (who lives in Virginia) telling me that my Grandma Bench (who lives in Utah) was scheduled for an angiogram and probably needed to have open heart surgery to bypass a blockage the doctors believed existed. My dad said that it was semi-serious and that he, Elvera (my step-mom) and Liam (my brother) were planning on flying out to Utah to be with her. I decided that I could make it work and wanted to go out and be with the family and with my grandma. We had a family fast on Sunday for my grandma and grandpa and I arrived in Utah late monday nite. My aunt kindly picked me up from the airport (at 12:30 a.m.!) and my grandma was scheduled for her angiogram early tuesday morning where they would determine where exactly the blockage was. She was scheduled for her bypass surgery on wednesday. After the angiogram the doctors miraculously didn't see a blockage and determined she didn't need bypass surgery! It was amazing. It only took Grandma a few hours to recuperate from the angiogram procedure and she was back in business. It was such a relief! We got to spend the rest of the time in Utah enjoying eachother's company. Sorry to all those in Utah I didn't get a chance to see/visit! It was a short trip for me. I lived with my grandparents in Utah for about a year a few years ago and really got to know them as an adult. That time I got to spend with them was really such a blessing in my life and they helped me through some really difficult times. I am so glad that Grandma is okay, and Grandpa too! Thanks to those of you who expressed your concerns for my little sweet grandma. We are all so glad she's okay.